Every so often when I go out on a date with someone, the topic of my sex column comes up. “Ooooh, a sex columnist,” is the usual response, followed by, “So, you won’t use my real name, right?”
This usually makes me laugh, and I respond, “You won’t ever be in my column.” I suppose the assumption is that because I write a sex column that means that I have a lot of sex. While it is true that I have experienced an abundance of this recreational activity, it does not necessarily mean I will write about every experience. To be honest with you, most aren’t even worth writing about. You see, when I write about someone in my column, that usually means that they did something really stupid or really good. But most of you are just mediocre. If I told you what will get in you in my column it would take all the fun out of it for me.
I believe men have to think about how they treat women in relationships and in the bedroom. I don’t want to give away too much advice or give away all my secrets because by being cognitive and being proactive in how you think about things when it comes to sex, instead of just assuming that we are going to love every single thing that you do, is an essential part of having a sexually gratifying experience and relationship.
In order for you to get into my column, you have to be extraordinary. That doesn’t mean I have to orgasm every time. What it means is that if I know that you put in a good effort and I know you are trying to please me, instead of just getting off yourself, chances are you’ll end up with column praising you for your efforts. If you’re an asshole and treat me with disrespect, you’ll get your own little story, but it won’t be as nice.
But not every article I have written has been strictly consolidated to someone I have slept with. I have a column about a guy who I really admired and liked, but we never kissed in our three months of dating. I have written about other people’s experiences, and an article concerning how to find good relationship advice. I would like to think that my articles don’t deal strictly with sex, but also on the matters of the heart. Sex is fun and often times very gratifying, but so is being treated with respect. It’s nice when a guy opens a door for me, when they ask how my day went, if they take into consideration my feelings, and show a genuine interest for who I am as a person. Those little things will make what we do in the bedroom so much more fun for the both of us because I’ll be willing to do more you.
If you really think you’re worth 500 words being dedicated to you, prove it. Prove that you’re not selfish. Prove that you get pleasure out giving pleasure. Prove that you’re a respectable person, in the first place, unless of course you want me to write something really mean. That I can do.
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