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Getting control of your personal finances is tricky enough for a single person—imagine what happens when you are responsible for two or even a whole family.  It could be a battle, and it isn’t going to be pretty, but it CAN still be done.  The basic fact is that it NEEDS to be done.  Any other choice, even inaction, is choosing defeat.  The process isn’t that hard and everyone, right down to toddlers, can learn to manage money.  Show them how to save and invest and they get to be the hero.

If you look through some of my earlier columns on getting your finances in order, you will find a financial boot camp to get things started.   The hardest part of taking control of your finances is doing the recon to find out what they actually look like.  Take a couple hours one afternoon and tackle what you can before calling in the troops.  If you’re a parent, you most likely have all of the records as it is.  This is your chance to get the kids in on the act, however.  If they come into the process when it’s a nice, neat little pile, they’ll be much more likely to stick around.

It is possible that you will be met with some resistance to this task, be it from a partner, a spouse, or a child.  The best way to deal with the situation is not to force it.  Stay calm and never get angry.  Your goal here is much bigger than getting the college fund (or the golf budget) under control.  The objective is to instill awareness and create an interest.  If it isn’t already there or easily come by, then you try for curiosity.  Ask questions, and only a few.  The mind is naturally curious and will soon motivate itself.

Another good tactic to garner participation is to ask for help.  Asking a partner to help you with a task is likely to get a yes.  If they are really adamant about their refusal, then try asking for a lesser level of involvement.  Let them know that you are trying to do a good thing for your relationship (or family), and that you want to make sure this information is in order in case anything should happen to either of you.  In most cases, nobody will argue with those points.  If they still say no, find out why.  Your partner may not have their financial paperwork or may just not know.  By making a few phone calls you will find that copies can be found of just about everything.

Ironically, the single topic that causes the most fights in a marriage is also the same topic that is least discussed.  How well do you think a relationship would work if nobody talked about their goals?  What do you think would happen if we assumed we knew what color the other one wanted to paint the walls?  These seem like absurd details, but we approach our money like this all the time.  Even though love has nothing to do with money, money sure can put a damper on love.  In the end, you can achieve loads of progress if you just talk to your partner about money.

As you go forth into battle, hold your head high and remember your purpose.  This is only the beginning.  Stick to the plan and you will win the war on debt, and turn your house back into a demilitarized money zone.  Report back next week for Part 1 of a three part series on your credit report.  You’ve got it…now what do you do with it? Step 1 is to check for accuracy.  You’ll be amazed at how much can be wrong.

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