10. “depends”
9. it takes two tries to get up from the couch
8. getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot
7. you fall asleep watching TV…every time you watch TV
6. "happy hour" is a nap
5. you have to buy slip-on shoes because you can no longer tie them
4. you have hot flashes, even though you're always cold
3. you have to take Viagra just to pee
2. the Republican agenda starts to make sense
1. you think the “Jitterbug” is a smart phone

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