Los 10 del Diablito

10. “depends”
9. it takes two tries to get up from the couch
8. getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot
7. you fall asleep watching TV…every time you watch TV
6. "happy hour" is a nap
5. you have to buy slip-on shoes because you can no longer tie them
4. you have hot flashes, even though you're always cold
3. you have to take Viagra just to pee
2. the Republican agenda starts to make sense
1. you think the “Jitterbug” is a smart phone

10. too damn cold
9. no hay fútbol
8. the only "snow" in South America costs $100/gram*
7. demasiado "blanco"
6. ¿qué caso tiene si todos los jueces son güeros?
5. a Anahí, se le perdieron dos dedos cuando filmaron "Sálvame"
4. "Nieves" is just a last name
3. too damn cold
2. ¿para qué?
1. no más para ser racistas y estereotípicos

* El Diablito entiende que la cocaína realmente cuesta mucho, mucho menos en Latinoamérica.

10. you bring home the bacon, he brings home the herpes
9. she gets pregnant despite your successful vasectomy
8. he decides he was always meant to be a woman
7. she beats you
6. man was not meant to be monogamous
5. he goes out for milk and doesn't call you for a month
4. she calls your jamón serrano "canadian bacon"
3. you say, "I Love you," and she says, "That's nice."
2. you catch her in bed with the neighbor…lady
1. it's been a while, but you're pretty sure the sex isn't very good anymore